Lessons well learnt... on compassion!

Today was an interesting day. I had a wonderful time teaching Balvikas today even without covering my teaching materials. I was able to see a child smile after such a long time of not smiling. She confessed that it is because none of her peers like her. Long story short, I helped the girls clear up some misunderstandings from ages ago. I shared as to how holding grudges is not good for health. I also kept talking about gratitude and it’s benefits.

            Gratitude… the more and more I talk about gratitude… the more and more grateful I become. I am and will forever be grateful for this beautiful opportunity to serve here. I was able to articulate to the children as to how gratitude has different levels. First, we can start of by being thankful for the beautiful temple we have, our body. When seeing the kids around who are physically and mentally disabled, I was thankful to God for making me whole. When I see small behaviors of each child, good or bad, I think about how their family could have possibly abandoned such a beautiful child. I then feel grateful for having a wonderful family that loves and takes care of me. Due to weight constraints of my luggage, I left behind my hair dryer and my hair straightner. My Dad is concerned about how my hair looks without a hair dryer. I thought, how weird, for a Dad to care for his daughter’s hair of all things! When our parents see to it that every need of ours if fulfilled to the best of their ability, I feel bad that perhaps these children might be cheated of individual attention. On the other hand, I’m so happy for the kids here because they have a structured life and care taker mothers to teach them life skills. Overall, gratitude can be as simple as thank you for giving me the ears to listen to the good, eyes to witness whatever happened that day, hands to have performed that day’s activities. It could also be as simple as thank you God for my shelter, today’s food, a family and more. Or, it really should be internalized and thought out as much as what we’re thankful for, why it’s important and in what circumstances that occurred.

            Today, I was thankful for the opportunity to silently observe Papa Vidyaakar at this Band Concert. Sri Sathya Sai Balvikas Students from a college near by came to perform. The room was really crowded and so I opted to listen to the band from the outside. Papa Vidyaakar had the most serene look on his face. He was making sure that everyone was taken care of. He was walking barefoot in water and washed his feet in a puddle of water like a little kid. He took care of a psychiatric patient for her needs at that very moment.

I then remembered hearing that there is no work that he has not done for his people. He has raised children, he has cooked for the kids, he knows how to comb and plat the hair for girls, he knows how to counsel people, he knows how to rescue a psychiatric patient and clean them up and take care of them. He even knows how to pump the stomach of someone who just attempted suicide. He knows how to do everything from A to Z about social work and all the work that's being done in Udavum Karangal.

The band was about to sing their next song and they asked the audience what types of wishes (aasaigal) they have at the corner of their hearts. Each child came up and said, I need to grow up well and earn Papa Vidyaakar a good name. Then each child followed by some of the following: I want to open a place for disabled children, I want to become a social worker like Papa, I want to come here and serve after I finish my education, I want to serve 10,000 people just like Papa. With awe, I was watching Papa to see his reactions… he was so proud and overjoyed to hear that from his own children.Then the band sang "Chinna chinna Aasai, siragadikum aasai."

The band’s compeer/ MC asked so who is “Amma” (mom) for all of us? The kids all answered “Papa.” The MC was confused. She was looking around for an explanation and the kids repeated “Papa, papa.” She goes, okay… so, who’s the mother for Papa? God right? This next song is about the divine Goddess. She was confused and shocked to hear such an answer from the kids… imagine all the kids owning the fact that Papa Vidyaakar is not only their father, but also their mother too!!

Then the songs that the band prepared were done. They invited people from the audience to come sing. 3 psychiatric patients sang in different languages. Imagine a young married couple’s 4-year-old child performing on stage. How excited would the parents be? They’d be cherishing the moment so well, making sure they have photos and videos and watching with awe. The same way, Papa Vidyaakar was laughing and smiling proudly as each patient sang. When the last patient sang, he asked everyone to be quiet and he went much closer than where he was sitting. I was like, wait, what’s going on? Well, the lady is a soft-spoken lady, so he wanted to make sure she was heard. How profound! Then a few kids sang some songs and when he saw them do well he was so proud. His facial expressions kept changing a lot out of an intense level of affection and love that he has for each individual at Udavum Karangal. This level of intense affection oozes through someone only when he considers someone’s as his own. More than watching the band perform, I learnt a lot out of observing Papa. Thanks to him for the lessons learnt today!

As soon as the event was over, many female psychiatric patients came towards me to say hi and shake my hands and make sure I was coming to teach them bhajans tomorrow. They said they missed me because I was not there on a Saturday. It was so nice to see them with so much joy, once again! Then I saw the dyslexic children on their way to their place. When I said hi to one of the girls, the rest of them insisted that I visit their home. They took me there. Long time ago, I went to Jeevan – the school for dyslexic children and mentally retarded children. I taught some of the kids there 4 bhajans. The teacher there said that these children will forget what they learnt the very next day. However, these kids took me to their home and sang the four bhajans I taught them in order and almost correctly with just dyslexic mistakes only. I was AMAZED. They asked me to come back to visit them at their school, and with a smile, I left to go home.

Was this a beautiful day or what? I couldn’t possibly ask for more! Thank you God. 

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Attention readers: If you have been touched by any of the previous posts and would like to help the people of Udavum Karangal... I urge you to support us with your pledge amount! Thank you, in advance, for your generosity! :)

PLEASE READ: Let us join hands to support Udavum Karangal (Helping Hands)

Dear Friends and Family,

As many of you may be aware, I’m volunteering at Udavum Karangal, Chennai, India right now. After spending about a month here, I was able to witness firsthand as to what their needs are. I am now reaching out to you for your support for a good cause.

Background: Udavum Karangal is a non-profit organization that helps orphans and destitute. Udavum Karangal has over 2000 people and they’re taken care of very well by Papa Vidyaakar for their needs of shelter, food, clothing, medicines and much more. On top of that, I just found out that there are some untold necessities that they are in need of right now. 

What we’re doing: As a part of Plano Tamil School’s Child-to-Child harmony program we are sponsoring 30 children. As their sponsor, we will be treating the children with a nice meal, snacks and more. There are many kids – 400 total – that includes dyslexic children, mentally retarded children and the normal children who have all been abandoned by society. Within our budget, we are planning to take care of about 100 children by providing everyday’s basic accessories that they can enjoy.  

What they need immediately:

1. These 400 children, and some mentally challenged adults need slippers. Imagine having to walk barefoot down two streets made of stones and tar on this hot burning weather in Chennai. The adult men have to walk these streets in order to get to work to the other portion of Udavum Karangal, everyday. Therefore, it would be nice to get them the basic rubber slippers ranging around $2 for 500 people. That’s $1000.

2. Their utmost need right now is undergarments. They need to replenish the undergarments periodically. They need as much as we’re willing to give!!! Even if we take just provide 2 sets of undergarments for 400 children and 100 residents/ volunteers here… that would average to a minimum of $1.50/ person. That’s $750.

3. The girls at various different sections of Udavum Karangal need a set of fake jewelry for important functions that’s occasionally celebrated – such as the function when a young girl becomes an adolescent. This jewelry gets passed on to the next set of girls. Each jewelry set ranges at about $10, and they can use 10 sets or more. That’s $100.

4. I felt it is very important to recognize the 60 volunteers with a small token of appreciation. They work round the clock, throughout the year for the children. We would like to get them some nice fake jewelry at $4/person… estimating at $250.

What do I plan on doing? I plan on personally shopping for these items at the cheapest wholesale rate with the help of Udavum Karangal volunteers at Paris corner, Chennai on July 2nd.

How can you help? The total estimated cost of the above comes to about $2100. Please support this cause by donating any amount that you’re comfortable with. We’d be happy to receive even a child’s small penny savings as well. We need your pledge amount via email to pltamil@gmail.com & Ramya.ambal@gmail.com by June 30th. Please help us help the wonderful family of Udavum Karangal. Thank you, in advance, for your generosity.

Yours truly,

Ramya Velu

Child-to-Child Harmony Coordinator 

Ramya.ambal@gmail.com

P.S. – If you’re under the impression that Udavum Karangal just takes care of orphans… read the below information on how many different sections they have… exclusively gathered information, just for you!

-        Paasa Malargal – a home for the younglings – newborn babies till four year olds

-        Sishu Bhavan/ Thaayagam – Two homes for children from 1st STD up till 5th STD

-        BoysTown – Home for the boys from 6th STD – 10th STD

-        Gokulam – Home for the girls from 6th STD – 12th STD

-        Model House 1 & 2 – 12 girls in each room have been given a separate place from their peers to learn life skills along with responsibilities

-        Kutty Papaas – Home for spastic children. These children cannot take care of themselves for any of their needs. Their caretaker has to take care of them from brushing their teeth, changing their diapers, feeding them and changing them.

-        Maanasa – Home for mentally retarded children.

-        Sumai Thangi – Home for children with learning disabilities

-        Occupational Therapy room – Manageable female psychiatric patients

-        Maduravayil’s – Karunai Illam – Elderly and hard to manage female psychiatric patients.

-        Dignity – Manageable male psychiatric patients

-        Jeevan Boys – Dyslexic boys who stay at Dignity, and go to school at Jeevan.

-        Malar Vanam – Elderly and hard to manage male psychiatric patients.

-        Jeevan – School for dyslexic students/mentally retarded students, and a place to teach life skills such as nursing/tailoring for students who are school dropouts.

-        Coimbatore Section – is a totally separate unit that takes care of similar people as well.

-        AIDS/ HIV/ Cancer patients – These patients are also well taken care of and they belong in the above sections.

A day of joy! - June 14th

            Bhajans at the psychiatry ward was interesting… why? Perhaps ‘caz I was in an interesting mood? I simply cracked jokes and said the silliest things and tried to make one of the caretaker girls to sing. We all had fun. The patients kept asking me, how come you never have any flowers on your hair? I was like, I don’t know… perhaps I’ll keep it one day. Then a lady says you must wear a saree everyday and be dressed up all the time with flowers or else we won’t talk to you. I replied saying that I don’t know how to wear a saree. They all said that they’d be happy to teach me and that they would help me put it on. I said okay… but who will stitch the blouse for me? They agreed to do that too. They were super excited thinking about me being dressed up in a saree. I was happy to see that these people loved and accepted me so much, very easily! Also, even as I was walking in the pathway to get to the psychiatry room today I was bombarded with the question of how come I didn’t come yesterday. They said they were waiting forever and then someone told them I wouldn’t be able to make it. They were simply super excited to see me. Isn’t this what life is about? I mean… on one side, we’re just bombarded with our “To do” lists and we’re constantly running behind something. Why are we running so fast? To chase money? But does that ever give us the inner satisfaction of being fulfilled internally? We still need to be balanced and earn money for our living… however chasing money will not give us peace. People noticing our absence and bombarding us with questions of why we didn’t come one day brings much more peace and happiness than being bombarded by our “To do” lists any day!

            I then proceeded to play with the little ones again today. My mom was super excited hearing about the little kids that she wanted me to treat them with a few cookies. Coincidentally, I went right around their snack time. I gave them the cookies and they were quiet. They were busy eating. They enjoyed the cream fillings in the cookies. It was really cute to see them eat the cookies. One child was stuffing the cookie in her mouth and asking for another one… another child was licking all the stuffing and breaking the cookies into pieces… I was happy to see that they were enjoying it.

What was so unique was that there was no fighting for the cookies. They all shared and ate it peacefully. I had told them when they ate one cookie, they can ask for the next one. The older ones ate it faster and by the time they came for their 4^th cookie… the little ones hardly finished their second one. I explained and asked if I could give the rest to the little ones. The older children smiled and accepted it. Then I had given it to the younger ones and when it was all done… I said “gali” –meaning all done. They too waved their hands in the same manner and laughed.

I was in awe… think about it… if there were cookies that your family loves the most… wouldn’t you fight for it? If there were cookies that both my brother and I love, we’d see who gets to it first. Then that person would consume quite a bit… sometimes even hide it in a secret spot, as if the cookies were so scarce. As humans most of us run with the fear of scarcity. However, these young children ate their few cookies with lots of joy and by sharing.

The feeling of being around them and making them happy for a few minutes was priceless. Yet, if you were to put a price on the cookies… it wasn’t even 2 dollars. They sang the song Radha Radha so well. This one girl always says – jingle bell paadu (sing) – and I’d sing it for her and she’d look at me with awe. Soon they were climbing all over me, and playing with me. I then had to leave to teach classes.    

            With a smile on my face, I then proceeded to teach classes. During one of my classes my new roommates joined the crew. They wanted to play games and slowly the mood changed and we were playing games with them. The girls loved it.

            I must say that that the girls enjoyed having them as visitors. They played games with them and made it a beautiful night overall. The girls even adored the Hong Kongers by putting Bindi & Kunkum on their foreheads. The evening was quite eventful and I enjoyed it too!

Social Responsibility - June 13th

My new roommates from Hong Kong joined me! I was eager to meet them. They’re so sweet, always with a welcoming smile.

As you all know, Udavum Karangal takes care of destitute… and that means people abandoned on the streets without anyone to care for them. I accompanied the team that went to rescue this lady. The traffic is so bad here… and it took us a long time to reach this place in traffic. A gentleman who’s a doctor had seen this lady and was accompanying her from a distance and had informed Udavum Karangal to rescue her. This shows that each citizen has a social responsibility. Simply being ignorant or ignoring the gory facts of life is equivalent to disregarding one’s inner conscience’s sense of right and wrong. Nevertheless, the lady was rescued safely and taken care of.

            Meanwhile, I missed my bhajan session at the psychiatry ward. I also missed teaching one set of girls Balvikas during this time. I then had my lunch with a fun bunch of office staff as usual. After classes that day… I had a lovely time with the Hong Kongers. They came to play games with the model house girls.  

Pasa Malargal

Pasa Malargal is a section dedicated to children ranging from newborns to three year olds. There are two newborns in this section, along with kids ranging from 2-3+ years old. I was bored, and so I decided to go here to spend time with these children.

When I went, most of them were showered and ready. Some were still getting ready. One lady was showering each child in the bathroom. Another lady would dry each child. Another lady would powder them and clothe them. This assembly line was simply cute.

I wanted to interact with the children and so I asked them if they like to sing songs… and then I tried to teach them a simple bhajan that’s titled Radha Radha. Some of the older ones sang the bhajan well. They were ready to sing cinema songs instead… and it was so cute to see them sing that way. Hence, I thought perhaps it was too hard for them. Though they didn’t want to sing it much, they love to sing songs.

I went right around their breakfast time. Two of the kids asked me to feed them. The way they eat is from one bowl; two ladies make the mixed rice into small balls and feed it to all of them. The same way, the kids asked me to feed them. Three of the kids sat on my lap, and one child sat next to me. I were to feed all four of them… but there was one small issue… how was I supposed to reach the common bowl of food to feed them if they’re all sitting on my lap? The lovely ladies then gave some food in my hand so that I could feed them. They were so happy. I was happy. I was not used to feeding little ones… but it was an experience indeed.

There’s a tiny little boy who’s almost two… he’s my favorite. I know that having favorites is not fair, but hey… he’s too cute. He’s a tiny tiny little boy, really skinny and light weighted. His smile is so huge. As soon as he sees me, he comes running towards me and just falls on my lap… or if I’m standing, he just runs and comes near my legs and holds me tight. He’s a sweetheart.

I just thought I’d peep in to see these children. I had to go to teach Balvikas to the new set of girls. However, their ropes of love tied me. There were four kids sitting on my lap now... one on each side, one in the middle… and one in the small space in between… almost falling all the time. I asked these kids if I could please leave as I had to teach the other girls. They said… “no, you don’t need to go, you can just stay here.” I said then where will I stay in the night? They replied, “you can eat here, you can sleep here.” I asked what else will I do? Then I didn’t get any answer… the aunty who takes care of them said.. they’re just saying what they do.. they eat, and sleep... and hence, they’re asking you to do the same. I was so overwhelmed with joy. But I had to go. Soon I somehow got up to leave. Then about 4 kids blocked the entrance to the door by sitting there against the door. I was like… please please… please move. They said, nope… you can’t go! Stay here! Then finally I asked them to play a game and they all came and I slowly slipped out and said bye.

How could anyone possibly abandon these children? If they can’t take care of a baby, then… in my opinion… they shouldn’t have brought the child into this world in the first place. I was happy and sad all at the same time.

Updates from last week… To be continued.

Updates from Last Week:

 Last week was quite interesting with minor challenges… the week started off with a bang. I had started to teach English to the Model House Girls here. I then learnt that I’m only good at speaking and writing myself, however I needed more practice on how to teach English. Nevertheless, I’m slowly progressing on finding best techniques to teach them. It’s a hard task indeed… any suggestions are welcome.

The second set of girls that I’m teaching Balvikas to are lovely singers. They do however have a tough time grasping the concepts of stories. One of the girls is simply naughty. She is so naughty and has such a wonderful sense of humor that she always makes us laugh the whole time. I did request her to keep her jokes aside from the devotional session. Some girls are dedicated, but are unable to think through the concepts. It’s been a nice yet challenging experience to teach them. One day, I had to go somewhere and was unable to teach them that day. All I could hear was “ oh, where were you? We missed you!” The girl who’s always cracking jokes rolled her eyes with over exaggeration by stating that she couldn’t sleep properly because she didn’t see me… of course, that was a joke! But nevertheless, the amount of commotion they created out of love to ask me how come I didn’t come just made me so happy. I also realized how much they need love and attention.

Papa Vidyaakar had been to a wedding for one of his daughters. Udavum Karangal gets the girls who grow up here married and makes sure that they’re well settled in life. Papa Vidyaakar shared that this young girl’s sponsor also came to the wedding. He is a CEO of some big company in another city in India. However, he did all sorts of jobs as if it was his own family’s wedding. The look on Papa Vidyaakar’s face was priceless thinking about how much that gentleman worked hard at this girl’s marriage. I responded that what everyone else does is hardly a drop full when compared to the service that he does with such magnitude. He brushed it off with a gentle smile. He was truly missed both the days he was gone for the wedding. There’s a deaf mute and dumb lady who is his assistant and she was feeling down. I asked her to smile. She makes signs of a mustache – referring to Papa – stating that she will smile as soon as he comes back. I was taken aback. One man has won so many people’s hearts.

The Chennai weather has cooled down… well… it’s not as bad as it was before because it is raining now! One day it was raining cats and dogs… thunder and lightening reduced the roads’ visibility a lot. Hardly before the rain got worse, I rushed home. Shortly after, I heard a heavy knock on my gate outside. Papa Vidyaakar had sent two people to make sure I made it home safely before the rain and that I was not caught somewhere in the middle. I thought, how sweet. He had ensured my family that he would make sure he takes care of me well… and he is doing much more than that. So I get in… and the current goes out! Great! Bring out the candles! But… I saw water right next to the candles on the floor… umm… why is there water in the living room? Uh..oh…. it’s flooding… where was the water coming from? Well… I was too busy worrying about the current that I did not want to figure it out in the dark. Finally, it took hours to clean it up. Nevertheless, this was an interesting adventure of living in India. The next day, I heard someone say that Papa Vidyaakar does not like lightening and thunder. I was like… okay… but why? His reasoning is that when its lightening and thundering any small child will seek security by hugging their parents. How will he go and find a child to comfort? And how many children could he possibly comfort, being one person? He stated that the small children used to hug one another and cry for hours till they calmed down and slept. Hence they stress on individual attention now. Papa hates the lightening because it terrifies the little ones. Even the tiniest hair on my arms were sticking out from shock and awe of how much concern and care he has for everyone.

Updates from last week…. To be continued.

A day at Karunai Illam in Maduravayil - June 2nd, 2011

The day started off as usual by teaching bhajans to the patients in the occupational therapy room. However, there was something missing… and that would be my voice! I had screamed so loud while singing bhajans all last week so that the patients could hear me well… but I remembered that with the will power we will get the energy. Sure enough, once I surrendered to God, I was able to sing in a squeaky yet fairly loud voice. The patients loved the bhajans as usual. Some were fighting because one lady kept criticizing the others around her for their minor mistakes while singing. The patients are very sensitive… both the offender and the offended. One lady kept spitting at another lady because she was told not to enter the office room. Then the lady who was asking her to leave picked up a plastic bat and started hitting her with it. I requested her to stop… and I got a rude reply. I kept quiet, not knowing what to do. Soon, some people handled the situation in a calm manner.

            There was an achievement that I’m very proud of… there was this lady who would always sit against the pillar at the back of the room. She refused to participate in the bhajans the first few days… then I walked up to her and started to hold her hands and make her clap. She then would clap anytime I walked by her. Today, she did the same… however… the second time I went by her side singing and leading bhajans… she started talking to me. She first said she needs a loan of Rs.100 to get back her gold chain and something else from the pawnshop. Then she kept on going about lakhs of money and how someone pushed her down. She came and told me about some random stuff. In the end, I asked her to come to the front of the room and sing. She clapped and sang in the front of the room. I was purely proud of the progress that she made from building rapport with her. I realized how important rapport skills are when working with people.

            We then went to the section called “Karunai Illam,” at Maduravayil. This was a home for the dying destitute. There were also rescued psychiatric patients who were unruly. After deciding that we were ready for the tour, we waited for quite a while. The caretakers had to make sure that the patients were decently dressed before we enter their place. Some of the psychiatric patients are so unruly that it’s quite difficult to maintain a dress code due to how severely they’re affected mentally.

First we visited a room full of grandmothers. Each grandma welcomed us with such a great smile… some adored me like grandmas usually do. One person had a severe skin disease and there were lots of flies around her. There were a pair of cute grandmas who were both deaf mute and dumb and were best friends. I was told that they talk for hours and hours with each other. It was so sweet to hear that they take care of one another too. When I realized that these people were so innocent, and that their families did not want anything to do with them… I became overwhelmed.

Then we visited many rooms full of psychiatric patients, or people who were about to become a dying destitute if they were left uncared for. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t exactly pay attention to what the coordinator (social worker) was telling me. It was even slightly difficult to pay attention to how he was interacting with the people there. Hats off to the gentleman I’m referring to! He’s got tremendous amounts of skill to calmly deal with people.

There were a few people there that caught my attention. One lady kept showing me her nightdress and saying that her nightdress was the same peach color as the chudi I was wearing. I was glad that she was able to recognize that. Another lady held my hand tightly when we visited a room… to be honest… I was scared. She may have looked scary or acted in a manner that scared me, but all she did was hold my hand. Then I realized that every human being’s emotional needs are the same as I’ve learnt in the Tony Robbins field. All she wanted was to be loved and accepted. Then there was a lady who kept on coming to ask if she could go home. The coordinator I was with cleverly answered her by saying I said I’m already looking, don’t worry. She repeatedly asked, and he repeatedly answered. He raised his voice slightly to make sure the message got through to her. Then there was another deaf and dumb lady… who could make noises, but not speak. She kept making gestures of a mustache, referring to Papa Vidyaakar, and saying something, which I assume, was to take her back home. She kept on walking with us for a while… not letting me concentrate on what the coordinator had to say. Even the old grandmas kept requesting him to take him back. One lady kept asking has the bus to this place arrived? Will you take me? He answers, “no…what can I do? The man who drives the bus does not respond… I keep on calling him, but he doesn’t respond” (in a very funny way). He handled each person differently. There was another lady who kept saying oh, eyes are crying. I thought she was referring to someone with some weird nickname, and I was wondering whom that could be. However, she was saying that her eyes were crying, hands hit people… the coordinator tells me… she says mouth wouldn’t eat, my legs don’t walk. To her, each part of the body is a separate person with separate identity. That was unique to see that.

I had seen all of this, and I was overwhelmed. Didn’t know what I was feeling, but simply overwhelmed. The coordinator (social worker) was interrogating a lady that was recently rescued. He was doing so gather information to restore her. If she spoke Tamil, I would’ve understood. She was speaking Hindi. I was not in the best state of mind. I just stepped outside for a long time.

What does all of this mean? Is God being cruel? Or is this the destiny of these people? But shouldn’t I be thankful that the Udavum Karangal authorities rescued all these people and now they’re safe and cared for? How many other people are out there uncared for? As Papa Vidyaakar said in his speech 4 years ago in Dallas… if everyone simply cared for their own family members and took care of them… the society would not have such abandoned people. There are so many teenagers who hardly understand their parents and want to just leave the house. However, here the social workers were trying so hard to restore these people. The people here have nobody – and I mean nobody – in their family who wants them back or their family is not financially or emotionally capable of caring for them.

I was thinking about why we are so focused about how society thinks of us. I mean, what’s so great about achieving something so grandeur and having a huge amount of wealth and properties? What was truly great was the amount of patience and service that the social workers here were doing. I’ve hardly been here for a week and a half, and I have experienced such a tremendous amount of satisfaction… and I have lots of fans (little kids). This is truly internally rewarding. I still feel I could do a lot more… and that I’m not doing enough around here. What surprised me was the social worker who shows me around and takes care of me by letting me know what my next assignment is… He stated that he feels he could do a lot more and that he’s not doing enough. I was like… ummmm… uncle, I strongly disagree. What is so humble is that all the people no matter even if their job is a huge job, simply just state that they’re just doing a small portion of what Papa Vidyaakar is doing. The amount of emotional strength that they have just amazes me.

The day continued with my Balvikas classes. I must say today’s classes were exceptionally great. I’m not sure if it was the interaction from the kids, or the examples that I gave… or the story itself... but with everything combined, both the classes today were a grand success. I was so happy that I could get through to the kids with the messages from the stories today.

Today was indeed an emotional day, filled with lots of newfound realizations and lots of eye openers. Let us all make sure we take care of our family members and our extended family members to make sure that they don’t end up this way. That is the service that we can provide to mankind and our society. 

Jeevan School - School for special needs children - June 1st, 2011

Today, I went to the Jeevan school for special needs children. In this school, there were many sections. They had a tailoring teaching section, nursing school, and such courses to tailor to the needs of the students from Udavum Karangal. If they have students who are 10^th graduates, or 11^th dropouts who cannot pursue higher education, then they’re sent to this school to learn some skills to fetch for themselves in the future. This school is also open to the public. The main part of this school is that they teach special needs children. Also, they had deaf mute and dumb girls in a group who were taught to make handicraft items. They make flower vases out of ice cream sticks. They paint them and then make them into a beautiful shape with glue. When they’re presented with cut sheets of paper, they make the envelopes and with the help of someone, they also print on it with ink. I’m not sure how many of you have seen the Udavum Karangal ad on Sun T.V. (Tamil Channel from India), but it has girls like this showing that they too can work… with the song “kurai ondrum illai, marai moorthi Kanna, kurai ondrum illai Kanna”… the song basically means that we don’t have a lack of anything… we are happy with what we have. Imagine the people who don’t have proper eyesight, hearing, people who cannot speak or understand what you’re trying to say as the video of this ad. That’s what came to my mind when I saw these girls. Udavum Karangal’s goal is to equip these girls with some skills for life. They even scent the agarbathis as well. The staffs here individually teach spastic children in the same room. This is an outlet for the spastic children and a way for them to learn things.            

There must have been about 50 children who were special needs kids. When I say special needs, I mean that they can look normal or close to normal and yet have difficulty learning. These students were dyslexic students. Students who found it hard to cope in the other normal schools were sent here. A girl told me, I failed at the other school, that’s why they brought me to this school. It was sad to hear that. Some of them looked very normal… yet one child had a misshaped head. I was quite disturbed as I saw that her facial alignment was slightly off. I was there to teach them bhajans too. They were a super enthusiastic bunch. However, they could only handle the simplest bhajans. I tried to teach them a medium level bhajan…  Shankara Sadashiva Chandrashekara – They could say the words individually… and even two words at the same time… when asked to sing the whole line… they would sing it like this: Shankara saaas….. chandsekara. I then asked them if it was difficult and almost all of them said yes! I realized how much slower I needed to teach them.

There was a girl with no hands… one side was covered with her shirt, and the other side had an index finger where one’s armpit usually is. At first I thought it was peculiar as to how something was sticking out of her shoulder. Then I realized it was a finger. I felt so sorry for her… but I did not treat her differently. I treated her just the same as everyone else. She had such a great self-confidence. She used her feet to write with, flip pages with… and guess what? She’s a beautiful artist! YES! She draws very beautifully with her feet. She was super naughty and messing around with the other kids and getting them into trouble. She was so sweet. It was sad to watch her. God gives such talent to even those that he forgot to give hands to… how funny, I thought! He is amazing and I guess he has a higher purpose in mind when he creates people the way he does create them.

            This school also has a section for doctors. Udavum Karangal subsidizes the rates for the patient fees to Rs. 5 or Rs. 10 and gives the patients the medicines at 50% cost. There is a doctor in the morning, and one in the evening. Specialized doctors such as an orthopedic doctor, dentist and more come once or twice a week. This facility is for Udavum Karangal people but mainly for the outsiders in Thiruverkadu. Since Thriuverkadu is in the outskirts of Chennai, many less fortunate people find it difficult to travel so far to find a doctor… and to travel it costs money. So, Udavum Karangal extends their helping hand to those less fortunate in and around this area.

            The little boy who asked about where my Dad was, was also there at this school. He was making hand gestures and asking me if I brought him juice, biscuits and chocolates. However, I had no idea he would be here. I happened to have some bourbon cookies and I gave it to him when nobody was around. Still, a few kids saw that. I felt really bad to make the others feel left out. I felt bad either way… I felt bad that the others didn’t get the same opportunity, and I would’ve felt bad if I had disappointed this child. It was a hard situation.

             I then returned back and taught Balvikas for the teenage girls. The lesson was very meaningful yet with a heavy subject. It was raining so hard so the kids were not in the room for the second Balvikas class. I then returned back to the Model House Girls’ home.

            When I was sitting there with the girls, watching the rain… we saw Papa Vidyaakar walking in the rain. His assistant, a deaf, mute, and dumb lady, was holding an umbrella for him. I thought that was so sweet that this lady takes care of his needs so beautifully without being asked. I thought he was walking towards the reception… but he came into the Model House Girls’ room. As it was raining, the mat outside was soaking wet. I didn’t exactly see what happened… but I believe Papa Vidyaakar took the mat, and drained the water from the mat by squeezing it to dry it. He wanted the place to be presentable even in the rain. If it were me, or any other elder person, we simply would’ve asked one the girls to do it. We might think we’re teaching them something… but when we teach with words, it’s just valid for the time being or perhaps for a couple more times. However, when one person leads by example, that’s etched in our hearts forever. Thus he taught those girls by being an example and living life in a humble manner.

            After he came and sat down, the room was quiet. All the girls sat there in a circle. For some reason… I’m not a fan of silence in a room full of people. So, being me… I started yapping! I was like, girls, please share what our Balvikas story was about today… what message did you learn… how can we apply it to real life… why is it important to us. They explained it almost completely. Papa Vidyaakar also spoke a few words along the lines of the message of the story. After that he said an example that I will always remember. He said, “if you want to remove the darkness in a room… you can’t hit the dark with a stick or push it away. All you have to do is just light a small lamp and that will illuminate the room.” I thought to myself as to how true it is. This is the example by which Papa Vidyaakar lives his life. He acts as the small lamp that illuminates the society to remove the darkness.

            We spoke about gratitude. I told him how I had asked the girls to focus on gratitude and write a few sentences each day. A few of them read their gratitude assignments. It was very beautifully written. I then told Papa that there is not a single assignment that I give where your name doesn’t pop up. They’re always so grateful to you. The smile that he had on his face slowly turned into a more serious look. I thought to myself… I know I didn’t say anything wrong! Why did his expression change? He then states that to live their everyday life… there’s a grandpa who first gets milk in the morning at 4.00 A.M., many ladies who cut vegetables, many ladies who cook, many who clean the dishes, people who keep the outsides clean, the Gardner, the watchman, the truck that comes to remove sewage daily and much more that’s gone unseen. I then realized he was teaching the kids that they must realize all the effort that goes into their functionality on a daily basis, and that there is more to be thankful for. He is such a humble man.

            Today was a beautiful day… I was pleased that I had an opportunity to interact with Papa Vidyaakar and the kids at the same time. 

Chilling on a Tuesday... May 31st, 2011

Today was a laid back day. Bhajans went well in the OT (Occupational Therapy) room as usual. I had a few minutes to chat with the occupational therapist. When I was appreciating how a person was knitting a basket, she then took me to a room and showed me how many baskets and ear mufflers they had made. They also make doormats, door hangings, tablecloths with decorations and so forth. The psychiatric patients made all of these products. They’re even taught how to fetch for themselves. The occupational therapist then told me about how they structure the day for these patients. Everyone here has a set fixed structured schedule everyday. This helps to maintain sanity, and order. This also helps the patients by showing that there will be a routine followed. They have set time for cleaning the whole facility, helping cook, helping with dishwashing and much more. They only get to watch T.V. on weekends. They listen to cinema music everyday for a while. After chatting with her, I took leave.

            I then went to the temple. There was a beautiful Karumari amman temple nearby. It was a nice experience. Since I went to the temple, my afternoon activities were cut short a bit. I then had some free time. The girls invited me again for eating lunch with them. I saw their unity as they shared their food. If someone liked something, their neighbor handed it to them from their plate. They were joking around, singing and just relaxing afterwards. Two of these girls sing so beautifully. Their talent amazed me! They sang many cinema songs with full lyrics and proper tune and with such a sweet voice.

            It was time for Balvikas again. I had noticed that the girls were writing the gist of the stories in any random notebooks. So, I decided to get them notebooks for them to write the Balvikas stories separately. I also shared with them what gratitude was. Today was a very relaxing, yet beautiful day.

A day with the Model House Girls...(May 30th, 2011)

 I started my usual bhajan teaching with the patients and that went well. Their occupational therapist came in while I was teaching them. She was so happy to see me. She said she has heard a lot about me and how I teach.

I then went to the group of Model House Girls and started to give them topics and asked them to say a few sentences in English. I was told that since Thiruverkadu is in the outskirts, their schools do not get the best English teachers. Hence, the students do not know English that well. I would take each of their sentences and explain why each word is placed where it is and how they can remember the usage of each word. It was an interesting process. Some kids barely knew the words in English.

These girls and I have developed a strong bonding. They’re like my friends, and at the same time my students who look up to me. Most of these girls were here from the time they were born. One girl was introduced to me as a newcomer. I was curious as to what a newcomer means. Surely, that meant she was rescued from some trouble. Just the way I had thought, she and her mother were rescued as they were abandoned. Her mother has stage 3 cancer and is terminally ill. This child has seen a lot in life and is scarred. She is so scared that she will lose her mother. She has previously lost her father, and she hasn’t gotten over that yet… and now her mother is severely sick. She was not doing so well when she was with her mother. She had to see her mom deteriorate and at the same time she was getting depressed and emotionally deteriorating as well. So, she was separated and placed with girls her own age. One morning, she woke up crying profusely. Her caretaker kept asking her why she was crying. She said, “Aunty, I had a dream that my mom left me and has gone far away and that I’m holding on to you tightly and crying.” Even the caretaker was devastated and was crying while trying to pacify the child. I have developed a strong liking to this child as she is always seen as a chirpy little, happy little girl on the outside while going through such problems.

I then played games like Snake and Ladder with the girls during their free time. They insisted that I eat with them. I sat down. I was given sweet as I was a guest in their home. I started to take a bite. None of the others had their full meals served like they usually do I guess. A girl saw me taking a bite of my sweet and said… hey girls lets do our prayer. They said their prayer to God in Sanskrit, and then it was followed by: “Papa, thank you for the food that you have provided us with today.” I was touched.  

            These girls shared a few amazing facts with me. About 750 people live on this campus. There’s usually food cooked for 1000 people daily. Food is distributed to the poor people on the streets around Thiruverkadu as well. Udavum Karangal is now extending their hand to the people outside their organization. Not only that, they have built 72 homes for the Tsunami victim families.  

            I then taught Balvikas for another set of kids. They greet me like CRAZY… Ramya Aunty Ramya Aunty… (yes, I just accepted them calling me an aunty…) oh my! The little ones just love me…even the kids I haven’t personally met yet know my name and what I’m doing here. It’s a joy to just walk around the campus and see so many smiling faces each day.

I went to the girls’ dormitories… and met the lady in charge. What’s so great is that everybody – whether they’re younger than me… around my age… around my mom’s age… or older – gives so much respect. It’s the culture of this place. I was awed by their unity in how well they treat people.

This day was a beautiful day. Thank you God.

Bhajan Teaching...and much more!

Today I started my day off by teaching bhajans at the Occupational Therapy room dedicated to female psychiatric patients. There must have been roughly 100 people. As I walked in, the patients were very excited. They greeted me with their eyes so wide full of excitement and with such huge smiles. They wished me good morning with their hands on their forehead. They were seated in rows, ready for their prayer time and bhajan learning time.

Soon, with such eagerness to prove themselves, they sang the bhajans that were taught yesterday halfway correctly. I was very impressed. I then started to teach one of the simplest bhajans I had planed, however it didn’t have a fast beat to it. Hence, the patients lost interest. I then realized that my goal here is not to teach them a number of bhajans, but to entertain them and in the process lead them to say the Lord’s name through namasmarana. I then proceeded to teach them a bhajan with nice beat.

For some reason something was bothering me that the people in back did not get the same attention as the patients in the front did. I then decided to walk and sing and went up to each patient who was in her own world. I took each person’s hands and started clapping them together. Some people who didn’t feel like doing anything then started to clap whenever I walked by them. One of the paatis (elderly grandma) had the biggest smile on her face I’ve ever seen as soon as I took her hands into mine. She was so happy that someone cares. Soon we went from 1/3^rd of the room participating by singing and or clapping to 2/3^rds of the room participating. That was truly rewarding. They wanted me to sing Devi Bhajans, and Muruga Bhajans. I then had a dilemma. The bhajans I know are difficult bhajans… how will they follow me? I then had an idea. They could jus clap while I sing. A lady said… you can sing, and we will clap (naanga kummi kotturom). They happily did that. With my voice almost out at the end of the hour, I had earned so many people’s smiles.

When I told them that today is Friday, and I’m off for the weekend, they were really sad. They asked me why I’m going, where I’m going, how long I’ll be gone. They wanted to make sure that I will come back to sing with them on Monday. They wished me well, said their byes and got re-assured as to when I’ll be back. With a mixed feeling of sadness and happiness I walked out to find out what my next assignment was.

I was then taken to the section called “kutti papas” meaning small children. This was an area for spastic kids. Some kids who were, for a lack of a better terminology, mere vegetables. Their caretakers did everything for them. They brush their teeth, shower them, feed them, change them and assess what their needs might be. They play with every child. There were children who were few years old in one room. They were kept separate from the bigger children. They were being fed their lunch. All I could see and hear were their cries to inform that they do not like to eat. One of the boys had some problem with swallowing and hence cried the whole time to drink his liquid food. In the bigger room, there were kids who partially functioned and older kids who could not function too. I saw a beautiful girl in her bed. She was petite and built small. She is now 24 years old and can sometimes understand what you say and she smiles. That’s all her functionality is. There was another boy with a similar status. Apart from these kids, two other kids had partial functionality. Amongst them, a boy was playing with the puzzles where you place the exact shape of circle in to circle hole and so forth. This game is usually for one year olds, and he must be at least 10 or 12. There was a girl who was probably much older. She kept saying ka ka (for akka – meaning sister) and was playing with another toy used for toddlers. They both invited me to play with them. If I were playing with the girl, the boy would come and grab my face to get my attention to start playing with him. The boy was very happy to have me to play with him.

I was lost – mentally and emotionally. I just observed. What was my role? Am I to continue being numb and play with them? Or was I supposed to realize that we have been blessed with a fully functioning body and so much more? I didn’t feel the joy to play with them. I did my best to block out the sadness and became numb as it was too much to take in. I just left the place sooner than intended.

I then peeped into the toddlers’ room. They were sitting in a line against the wall. I walked in and said hi and asked what they were doing. A little girl said, “oh, we’re sitting.” I laughed and said what else are you doing? She said… I’m singing butterfly. They sang many rhymes for me in their sweet baby voices. There was a little one-year-old boy who was super shy. He then saw my shiny water bottle that keeps water cold and then we were playing tug of war. I then went to see the 15-day-old baby in the crib next to them. The baby was super tiny. I knew this wasn’t a normal child, and to confirm my doubt, the child was a pre-mature baby born at 7 months. The caretaker explained that when this baby is 3 months old, the baby will be equivalent to the size of a normal one-month-old baby. It was just sad to know that the mother had abandoned this child somewhere, as a pre-mature baby. The kids said bye. They kept saying come back and see us. I then left.

Next I was assigned to the model schoolgirls’ group. I was supposed to take Balvikas class for them. These are basically moral stories that helps one lead their life with morals and values needed in one’s life.

As I was revising my teaching materials, one of the coordinators there asked me if I would be interested to see some pictures. I said sure, and went over to look at the pictures. He shared with me of how Udavum Karangal and their staff play a role in rescuing people in trouble. He shared many incidents where people have had some injury that was left unattended and how their feet started to decay. The decayed portion of their leg then had to be amputated. He also shared how they have rescued babies from the toilets of the trains.

I then proceeded to teach Balvikas for two sets of kids. The day was a productive, inspiring, shocking yet rewarding day.            

           

A day at "Dignity" - May 26th 2011

            I started my day off at the occupational therapy room by teaching bhajans to the psychiatric patients. I started off with a small Ganesha prayer and stated to teach them with the most simplest bhajans. Only half of them were able to sing, and you could barely hear a third of the people. That too, they were off pitch. One lady was super enthusiastic. She came and sat right next to me. She was absolutely off pitch and driving my focus away. I took this as a challenge. It’s not like she knew what she was doing anyway. They were so happy to sing bhajans as the beat was peppy too. Soon, the hour of bhajan singing passed away quickly.

            A coordinator then took me to a place called Dignity and Boys Town. On one side there was the boys’ dormitories, and on the other side there was the male psychiatric patients’ home, along with a few children who were somewhat challenged. I met the patients… it was really a sad situation. I saw a person who was like a midget… some were not in their senses. There were a few boys playing around there. The coordinator called boys, come here… and he called them by their names. Quickly I recognized that our Plano Tamil School is sponsoring one of those children. I then asked the boy if he remembers talking to us via the computer (Skype) and he said yes! Where’s Velu uncle? He started to look behind me check if he was about to come. I explained that I have come alone and that I’d tell uncle that he asked for him. He then took me on a tour around Dignity.

            We saw a paralyzed man with one working hand. He was in charge of cleaning the floors and mopping them. As per his health condition, he is not advised by the doctors to do such work. However, he has such pride in doing his job and gets really upset if his job is outsourced to someone with better health. He was so happy. I then thought, here we are with both working hands…usually whining to do our chores, and here’s this man with one hand… mopping the floors of a huge facility. It’s not about what we have or don’t have…it’s about our attitude.

            Some people had separate beds. They are recovering patients who clearly want to have their identity, their own clothes, their own bed and a job. I was told that this was a good sign as their pride is a sign of going in the right path. The place is well maintained by the patients. It’s a great concept that even the patients must have work so that they keep their minds occupied most of the time. Moreover, they need manpower and whom better to take care than the people themselves.

            Later that day, the coordinator took me to the counseling room where he enquired the whereabouts about a person who was recently rescued. His aim was to collect all the possible valid information about the patients’ whereabouts so that he can be restored to him family. Perhaps his family might be looking for him... but after figuring out whom their family is, their families sometimes refuse to take them back. They have plenty of people like that. That little boy must have asked about Velu uncle at least 5 times and he said next time bring me some drawing books, something to eat like chocolate, cookies or cool drinks...anything would do. He reminded me... don't forget! I smiled and said I'll surely come back and visit you.
            Upon returning back, I taught Balvikas class for the Model House Girls and they loved it. It was hard for them to grasp some concepts, but they enjoyed the bhajan singing and the story telling as well.

This day was very productive and informative as well.

My first day! (May 25th, 2011)

 

The special day for my much-awaited visit to Udavum Karangal finally arrived. I hardly slept the night before due to the excitement of what was in store for me this summer. I was eager to get there as I had learnt so much about Udavum Karangal each time my family members visited in the past. I was then taken on the orientation tour. Udavum Karangal is separated with many sections. First, there was the newborn and toddlers section, followed by the dormitories for the young girls and boys, separately. Then there were occupational therapy rooms for female and male psychiatry patients, followed by sections for spastic children. Udavum Karangal has schools built for these children, and special needs school for the special needs children too. There was much more. This itself was overwhelming. I also saw a temple and a church. The people here are encouraged to choose their own faith in religion and for them to believe that all religion are one, as all people should believe.

When I went to the female psychiatry patients’ room, they referred to any male as uncle, and any female as aunty. Even a paati (grandma) around 65 years old called me aunty. I assume that this is the easiest way for them to communicate, as it might be hard for them to remember names and faces. Imagine this: shortly after I walked in I was almost forced to sit in a chair. I had roughly 20 people gathered around me… shaking my hands, hugging me, leaning on me, gazing into my eyes… asking me what my name was… how I’m doing… they asked if I had eaten… they were curious as to where I’m from. They asked why I’m here… and what type of bhajans I would teach them and how often I would come. Soon enough, some people would forget that I already answered them and they’d ask me all over again. Some shook my hands, some said good morning aunty… some kept gazing into my eyes and smiling from ear to ear. One lady kept doing a few repetitive actions and kept rolling her eyes up and down and smiling. Some were deaf and dumb. Some people refused to speak… a lady chooses to be mute all the time. Some of them kept conversing with me in proper English to show that they’re better than the rest of them… I soon found out that they too are chronic psychiatric patients that go through mood cycles.

I had mixed feelings of being overly joyful from the abundance of unconditional love and the sadness upon seeing their condition. Many (or almost all) of these people (probably must) have been rescued by the Udavum Karangal family from the streets. They were showing unconditional love… with the most innocent, loving and beautiful smiles. They had no expectations… they accepted me whole-heartedly without any barriers. At first, I was thinking… oh my gosh… they’re leaning on me… holding my hands… what about the germs? Ahhhh…but I came to my senses and accepted people as they are… after all it’s nothing compared to how quickly they accepted me for who I am. What was unique was not an outsider accepting them for who they are… but the people putting up with each other and treating each other like kids. It was great to see that someone with a better mental state is so kind and generous to their inmate who is not so well off. Even if someone does something silly, the people around them accept them so easily and put up with them in a joyful manner.

To take care of these people, there were 3-5 girls at any given time. These girls are assigned here to spend their summer. They’re either in school going to 11^th  STD, or have just graduated from school. There was a very young psychiatric social worker who was overseeing the place at the time I was with them. This young girl proudly stated my name is ____________ Vidyaakar, and I’ve been here from the time I was a child. I just finished my 10^th Standard. She is a joy to be with. She goes to the school opposite to here along with the other girls from Udavum Karangal.

It was a joy to see that all the kids who grow up here carry Mr. Vidyaakar uncle’s name as their last name and V. as their initial. It’s truly remarkable for a man to be so humble and give such an identity to those who did not have an identity.

Apparently it was pre-established that I will be teaching bhajans. I might have mentioned that I sing bhajans… but little did I know that I would be assigned to teach bhajans for such a huge crowd of almost 100 people. Am I a good enough singer to teach this many people? Questions started to boggle my mind. How many bhajans do I know to teach for 2 months? Will they be able to sing? Then I remembered that I have everything I need within me now. I just have to work at it. I reassured my self quickly… I just might have to do some homework.

            After the long introductory talks with the patients, I too accompanied them to their dining room for their lunchtime. As if there weren’t enough patients inviting me to eat with them, a volunteer kept on asking me to eat with her. However, I wanted to serve food instead. I then asked the coordinator and agreed that I would serve the simplest item. But, there was a family that was sponsoring their food that day and they wanted to serve instead. Anything I was told I could do, that family wanted to help. I then watched what was not being done, and quietly did that with much satisfaction.

            The volunteer wouldn’t let me go… she insisted that I drink the payasam. I was worried about how clean the silverware would be, and when I saw the love, the kindness and affection in her eyes, my concern for safety was temporarily forgotten. I valued her more than my worries, and drank it. It tasted great!

            I then went to eat my lunch with the staff. What was amazing was how much fun these staff were having just by teasing each other casually. After a hard day’s work, they still had a huge smile on their faces. They joked around and filled the room with laughter and put me at ease too. I thought, if they can be happy, why not the rest of the world? If people who are constantly working with patients that have numerous problems can be so happy, then there’s no reason for others to delve into self-pity. The amount of unconditional love was simply oozing out of almost every soul at this campus.

            I then went and got settled in the two-bedroom guest house. It was a typical Indian home. I was reminded of how I used to live here 12 years ago. I was accompanied by my new best friends… a large lizard, many small really ugly lizards, and a few spiders along with the most wonderful mosquitoes. I quickly got settled and returned back to Udavum Karangal.

            Shortly after, a social worker told me about their newest section that there were experimenting with: Model House Girls. They were the best students who were put in a home separately to learn the habits that are required for any young girl. They were there to be groomed. She then introduced me to them and said, you can spend time with them and left. Ahhhh… what am I supposed to do with 12 girls for a few hours? I started off with their names, and ages… soon ran out of questions and started teaching bhajans. Their caretaker then stated that they needed help with their English. I then asked them to form 2 sentences in English on any topic. Somehow or the other they kept expressing gratitude to their Papa Vidyaakar even through a simple assignment.

            I then had an opportunity to finally meet Mr. Vidyaakar uncle and have a small chat. Long story short, he was pleased to have me here and I am more than happy and pleased to have such an opportunity.  I thanked him for making this dream come true for me. This day marked the beginning of my new journey.